Mending Your Marriage After an Affair

The best way to mend the wounds of an affair according to experts is for the cheater to be open and candid about the affair and accept responsibility. Author John Gray, who examines relationship problems in his latest book, "Why Mars and Venus Collide" says the cheater must admit betrayal and state their desire to be faithful. In this article from Florida Today, wife Angela Gilbert requires her cheating husband to take a lie detector test every year. She says, "I don't trust him the way I did before. I feel safe because of the measures we put in place."

Another expert, Rick Reynolds says it takes about 18 months for the hurt spouse to work through all the emotions that come with an affair. He also says it's important to establish ground rules like Gilbert and know when to let the affair go. There's more tips in the article, which concludes by saying the best defense to an affair is to talk openly with your spouse about any temptation. Psychologist Barry McCarthy says, "Lies thrive in secrecy."