Know What Gets Better With Age?

Marriage. So says, author Maggie Scarf in her new book "September Songs: The Good News About Marriage in the Later Years." Scarf has spent more than 30 years studying relationships and has been married herself for 55 years. USA Today interviewed Scarf and you can read the interview here. Here's what Scarf responded to the question of how do couples get better with age? "As you age, it's no secret that you lose memory, vision, hearing, but there is one domain in which you probably get a lot better, and that is emotional control and emotional processing. These emotional changes promote a motivation to get the toxic people out of your life."

Marriage and Prayer Survey

Paul Giblin at Loyola University Chicago is looking for participants for a study that explores how, when, where, and why married people pray. The study is conducted online and is held in confidential. The study asks: Besides praying in church and at meals, do you ever pray together or is it more usually alone? Do you have similar or different ways of praying? How do marriage and family life influence your prayer life? Has your prayer changed over the course of marriage and family life? To participate, please contact Dr. Giblin at 800-424-1238 or pgibli@luc.edu.

Could a DVR Save Your Marriage?

Tech company NDS commissioned a study on DVRs and a surprising result was found. A whopping 79% of American couples surveyed said their DVR improved their relationship. The main reason for the improvement according to the study is that each individual in the relationship can enjoy their own programs and share their favorites with one another. Furthermore, 81% of Americans said having a DVR helped squash arguments over what to watch. Click here to read the complete report. Do you have a DVR in your home? Do you think it's improved your relationship? Talk about it on the forum.

New Book: American Wife

A new book by Curtis Sittenfeld titled, "American Wife" is loosely inspired by the life of Laura Bush. The story is told in first person about as an up-close portrait of the interior life of a very complicated woman, but most is fiction. The story focuses on Alice Blackwell, the wife of Charlie Blackwell, a wealthy man who becomes president. So how does Alice's life mirror that of Laura's? A car accident in which a youthful Alice kills a teenage boy, her career as a librarian, her husband's rise from co-owner of a baseball team to governor and then president. And just as we help couples of different political views get together in our latest story "Philadelphia, Politics and Common Ground," Alice is a Democrat when she meets Charlie who is a Republican. Click here to read the full review.

New Monogamy Gene Found?

A new study on genes linked a hormone that's found in mammals, to mate stability in prairie voles. The research went on to show that Swedish men with variations in DNA next to the gene responsible are generally more likely to have marital problems -- and less likely to be married in the first place -- than those without the variations. Wired goes on to say:

According to the researchers, the results suggest that the "influence of AVP on pair-bonding in voles may be of relevance also for humans," although the "relatively small effect size ... clearly does not mean that this polymorphism may serve as a predictor of human pair-bonding on the individual level."

Although it's too early to tell, many have already started dubbing this the "divorce gene". We'll error on the side of caution and wait until the research says so. Here's a link to the complete article.

Put Marriage Before Kids

This article from The Christian Science Monitor says the secret to a happy marriage is to put your marriage before your kids. By making your kids the center of your universe, parents become anxious and exhausted and it's not just bad for marriage, but in the end it's bad for the kids too. Here are some tips from the article:

There are three keys to a successful marriage and family:

1) Recognize that we've already chosen the perfect spouse. No, we would NOT choose better next time;

2) Recognize how often our fight-or-flight instinct overrides our passion in marriage. To create a happy marriage, we need to go from the fantasy, "It's his/her fault that I'm unhappy" to the truth, "I wouldn't do any better in my next marriage, so I might as well give 100 percent to this one;" and

3) Recognize that if we build a great marriage, we create a great role model for our kids, and they learn self-reliance and cooperation in the process.

Do you find that your kids come before your relationship?

Renew Vows to Save Marriage

Renewing your vows is a tradition of reminder and putting the spotlight back on your commitment to each other. For some couples that may have lost their ways, renewing your vows may help refocus your marriage and get it back on track. Dawn O. Braithwaite, professor of communication studies at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, has researched couples who opt to renew their vows. She says "I would not advise anyone to do this out of desperation and say, 'I'm going to save my marriage. This is like the icing on the cake." But even if it is a last resort, Susan Heitler, a Denver-based clinical psychologist and author of "The Power of Two" says a renewal of vows can be a fresh start for those who are still very much in love, but who cannot seem to get the hang of married life. This article from ABC News highlights celebrities who are doing it and suggests that if a few of them find success for their rocky marriages, then it could become a more popular trend. Have you ever renewed your vows?

Reasons to Have Sex

If you're not feeling motivated to have sex, AOL has put together a list of 34 reasons to have sex. For example, according to a study at Queens University in Belfast, men who have sex three or more times a week can cut their risk of heart attack in half and will also reduce risks of stroke. Another reason to have sex according to the article is that 30 minutes of sex will burn roughly 200 calories. With the winter flu just around the corner, you'd also like to know that sex twice a week will boost your immune system by 30 percent. To read the complete list, click here.

Young Workers Aren't Good With Savings

Fidelity Investments released a survey that says half of Gen X and Gen Y workers said saving for retirement is an obligation or a goal, but 51 percent said other financial priorities prevent them from setting aside money. The survey also suggests that these two groups of workers will switch jobs around seven times and many of them cash out their 401(k)s when the change jobs. The survey says a whopping 56 percent cashed out their work place savings plans and 41 percent said they didn’t seek financial advice when changing jobs. Are you comfortable with the way your financial retirement is heading? Any questions you want our experts to answer?

Marriage, World of Warcraft Don't Always Mix

Men love video games. Women love video games too, but that's another post. Men who spend too much time playing World of Warcraft (WoW) could find themselves creating an unhealthy relationship environment. This self-professed writer and WoW addict uses guidelines such as setting time limits on his play (click here). This can be applied to all video games--Madden '09 just came out! For other tips, you could set aside a certain day you play, throw a game party, play when the other is out or asleep, or invite them to play with you. Out of curiosity, have you and your spouse argued over too much video game play? This reminds me of that movie with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn, The Break-up. Remember the scene where she's trying to get him to help get ready for a party and he's trying to squeeze in some Grand Theft Auto time? Like this one and in most other cases, video games aren't the problem just a symptom. Remember, video games are supposed to be fun, telling your friends and family you got divorced because you play them is not. Play responsibly.