What do Women (and Men) Experience After an Abortion?

Today marks the 35th anniversary of the Roe v. Wade decision by the Supreme Court. NPR's Talk of the Nation program did a story without political chatter to hear what men and women had to say post-abortion--either directly for women or through the relationship for men. This show took a refreshing and often overlooked angle on the emotional experiences after the fact. You're probably thinking, I missed that show, so why are you telling us? Well, the NPR website is fully equipped and has the show in its entirety ready to be listened to. Click here.

Husband Tries to Understand Wife's Anorexia by Not Eating

Glamour magazine has published a very heartfelt essay from husband, Tom Cramer, and his struggle in dealing with his wife's anorexia. The essay tells a story of the perfect couple and then quickly whittles down to the ugliness of the disease. As an engineer, Tom wanted to fix the situation, but he didn't know how. Tom decided--without telling anyone--that he would starve himself to help better understand the demons his wife, Meg, was facing.

Tom only lasted a few days, but he became enlightened. Meg ended up in the hospital and has since recovered. Tom and Meg continue to deal with the disease on a daily basis, but it brought out a new level of honesty in their relationship, not just between them, but also with their friends and family.

This is definitely an article you should read. Click here.

Warning Signs of a Troubled Marriage

About.com offers a lengthy bullet list of items that are warning signs of a troubled marriage. We've pulled out a couple of them and hopefully they don't look too familiar.

- The two of you bicker a great deal.
- You don't fight fair.
- You no longer have fun together.
- You don't trust one another and feel suspicious.
- One of you, or both, has been unfaithful.

Seriously, that last line is on their list.

What Kills Sex In A Marriage?

USA Today gives a Q&A with the authors of Sex-Starved Wife (Michele Weiner Davis) and He's Just Not Up for It Anymore (Bob Berkowitz and Susan Yager-Berkowitz) about what kills sex in a marriage. Here's a sample question and answer from that article:

Q: Is there an average or normal amount of sexual activity among married couples, and how does it change with time?

Weiner Davis: It's really very subjective. For some couples, if they had sex twice a week, they'd think they died and went to heaven. For others, it would put them in divorce court. Mutual interest needs to be taken into account.
Yager-Berkowitz: To me, what's normal is if both partners are happy. From the first days of a relationship to maybe three years, the brain hormones of people tend to be far more sexual to reproduce or form an attachment for all kinds of cultural and psychological reasons. What's normal in the first year of a relationship is very different in 10 years.

To read the full article click here.

Spider-man

Spider-Man and Mary Jane Call it Quits

Regular readers of Marvel Comics' famed Spider-Man comic book are up in arms, according to USA Today, over the roughly 21 year marriage between Spider-Man and Mary Jane ending. We don't usually cover divorce, but of course, this story has a twist. In order to save Mary Jane's life, Spider-Man made a deal with the devil-like character, Mephisto, to save her life. In return, however, Mephisto would erase all memory of their marriage together. That's right, all memories of their marriage--gone!

That got us thinking, would you erase the memories of your marriage in order to save your spouse? Or would you let nature take its course. Click here to read the whole article from USA Today.

Dr. Haltzman Releases New Book

Our very own Dr. Scott Haltzman has a new book on sale now! The book is entitled, "The Secrets of Happily Married Women: How to Get More Out of Your Relationship by Doing Less." Dr. Haltzman co-wrote the book with Theresa Foy DiGeronimo so we'd like to congratulate them both on this release.

"In The Secrets of Happily Married Women," Dr. Haltzman tells us stories from real women who are happy in their relationships. These women know how to get more out of their partners by doing less, by not trying so hard to make men perfect, not dragging them to couples therapy, not expecting them to think or behave like a woman. These are women from Dr. Haltzman's clinical practice and culled from thousands of contributors to his website DrScott@HappilyMarriedWomen.com. They have learned to understand how men really work and tap into men's powerful hard-wired desire to please women and 'be a better man.'

If you'd like to hear more, stay tuned for a podcast with me and Dr. Haltzman. If you'd like to purchase the book now, click here!

BeerTender Hits Shore, Soon

When you think of Krups you probably think coffee. When you think Heineken you're talkin' beer. Well, the two companies have paired together to offer home beer drinkers (like there's a market there) a fridge/keg system that offers cold beer on tap. This post from Engadget says the 5-liter Heineken keg will stay fresh for 30 days.

We know the holidays have passed, but I'm sure there's a lot of husbands who wouldn't mind walking into the kitchen to find one of these on the countertop. It'll run you $400, though. Don't worry, you'll have time to save since it's only currently available in Europe and won't hit U.S. shores until March at Williams-Sonoma and everywhere else in April.

Get Some Quality Alone Time Together

The Denver Post interviewed Mira Kirshenbaum, author of "The Weekend Marriage: Abundant Love in a Time-Starved World." The Post asks Kirshenbaum, "Why is it important for couples to get alone time?" Kirshenbaum first makes the distinction between vegging out in front of the TV together without engagement and actually paying attention to the other person. She goes on to say no matter what it is you do, "it's got to be something that makes you feel again the way you felt when you were first together."

Sounds like some pretty good advice. Kirshenbaum takes it one step further, too. Saying that couples should shoot for having at least one real connection a day. Doesn't sound too hard right? Her examples include a real meaningful tight hug or a lingering kiss. Of course, you could take these instances further and go for a walk, play games together, etc.

As your work loads become unbalanced, Kirshenbaum recommends sitting down once a month to discuss what's on the horizon to help keep your time and relationship in balance.

Do you make a concerted effort every day to connect with your spouse?

Milk Linked to Cancer?

The American Journal of Epidemiology says the consumption of low-fat or nonfat milk may increase the risk of the malignancy. Dr. Song-Yi Park, from the University of Hawaii in Honolulu, and colleagues, analyzed data from subjects enrolled in the Multiethnic Cohort Study. This study included adults between 45 and 75 years old over a 9-year peried, and were primarily from five different ethnic or racial groups, living in California or Hawaii.

A total of 82,483 men from the study completed a quantitative food frequency questionnaire and various factors, such as weight, smoking status, and education levels were also noted, Park's group said.

During an average follow-up period of 8 years, 4,404 men developed prostate cancer. There was no evidence that calcium or vitamin D from any source increased the risk of prostate cancer. This held true across all racial and ethnic groups. In the article from AOL it says that low-fat or nonfat milk did increase the risk of localized tumors or non-aggressive tumors, while whole milk decreased this risk.

Saying all this, the article quotes Park's team which says, "Our findings do not provide strong support for the hypothesis that calcium and dairy foods increase the risk of prostate cancer. The results from other large...studies, with adequate numbers of advanced and fatal prostate cancers, may shed further light on this question."

To read the full article with more details, click here.