Women Rule the Home

A new study from the Pew Research Center found that when it comes to the home, women are in control and that's fine by men. When it comes to planning weekend activities, household finances, major home purchases and TV watching, women not men are the ones pulling the strings--making 43 percent of the decisions. That's more than double who said the man makes the decision (26 percent). The other 31 percent said the decisions we equally divided. In the scenario where women make the decision, men don't have the final say and say they either consult or just defer to what the woman wants. What's interesting is that older couples who were surveyed said they were more likely to share in the decision-making process than their younger counterparts. Who makes the decisions in your home?

New Movie on Marriage: Fireproof

Coming out tomorrow is a movie called Fireproof. It's based around the story of a firefighter trying to save his marriage. Just before he and his wife go down the path of divorce, the main character, played by Kirk Cameron, accepts a challenge by his father to give it another go. In the process, he finds faith and new love for God. It's the story of a firefighter who dedicates his life to saving others, but is struggling to keep his own home intact. In an interview, Cameron says the divorce rates for firefighters is a whopping 75 percent! This movie seems to have struck a nerve and been getting a lot of buzz (maybe we just surround ourselves with marriage information so it seems that way). Had you heard of this movie? Do you think you'll go see it? If you do, please post something on the network, we'd love to hear your thoughts. Click here to go to the movie's website.

Stop the Wandering Eye

New research by Florida State University reveals that men and women have less temptation when their significant other is on their mind. This could be as simple as a phone call made when your husband is out with the boys or a text when your wife is out dancing with her friends. One of the study's authors, Gian Gonzaga says "This must be very deeply ingrained in us, because it happens so quickly, and we can't consciously control it. The findings show that both sexes can curb the urge to cheat by thinking about their significant others." Another study by UCLA showed that men and women just thinking about their mate curbs their attention toward the opposite sex. So go ahead and let your spouse have fun with their friends, just remind them before they leave or while they're out that you love them.

Do you have any rules about your spouse going out?

Husband Sues Wife for Giving Him Herpes

A Manhattan lawyer is suing his wife after discovering she was having an affair when he found her herpes-treatment prescription in their medicine cabinet. He's also suing her lover and her father--a doctor who prescribed the medicine and he claims withheld the affair and knowledge of the infection. The father claims he prescribed the medicine to cure a sore on his daughter's lip. The husband has since also contracted genital herpes, which is treatable, but not curable. The lawyer in the suit also claims that the wife and father violated NY state law requiring people knowingly infected with venereal disease to tell their sexual partner. It's also not surprising that he submitted another file to the courts--for a divorce. Click here to read the complete article from the NY Post. What would you have done?

Did Your Nose Pick Your Spouse?

New research suggests that it might have been your nose, not your heart that first attracted you to your husband or wife. Researchers at Switzerland's University of Lausanne have noticed a connection between scent and picking a mate. They've observed mice, rats, sand lizards and fish pick mates with immune system genes unlike their own based on scent. This would then produce offspring that had stronger immune systems than their own. Similar tests have been conducted with humans with women picking based on sweaty t-shirts. The results were similar. It's not cut and dry however. Social influences, for example, can override this natural impulse to follow your nose. More studies are sure to follow. To read the entire article, click here.

Emmy's This Weekend

If you haven't heard, the Emmy's will air this Sunday on ABC. The Emmy's have in the past been dominated by HBO, but there's buzz this year that AMC's show "Mad Men" is expected to be the breakout winner. If you're unaware, "Mad Men" does have HBO roots. Matthew Weiner, the creator of "Mad Men" was a writer and executive producer for "The Sopranos". HBO did have the opportunity of picking up Mad Men when the show was being shopped around but passed. Whoops. Don't feel sorry for HBO, though. They're expected to pile up the awards for their mini-series John Adams, where Paul Giamatti plays the second U.S. president and Laura Linney plays his wife Abigail Adams. Here are the nominees for outstanding drama series: Boston Legal, Damages, Dexter, House, Lost, and Mad Men.

Which show are you rooting for? Click here to read all the nominees.

New Crop of Romantic Dramas

If you pay attention to movie previews, you may have noticed their are a bunch of new romantic dramas about to hit the big screen. First up is Nights in Rodanthe starring Richard Gere and Diane Lane being released September 26th. Next up is Australia starring Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman and being released on November 26th. Finally, Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet reunite for the first time since they made history in Titanic for their new movie Revolutionary Road to be released in January. Australia and Revolutionary Road are both period pieces, Australia taking place during World War II and Revolutionary Road in the 1950s. More about these movies can be found here. Of these movies, what are you most excited to see?

Eating At the Grocery Store

Times are tough and if you don't have the cash to go out to a fancy restaurant, we understand. Apparently, so do a lot of other Americans. It seems there's a rising trend of Americans eating out at the grocery store or purchasing already prepared food like rotisserie chicken and mashed potatoes. MSNBC ran a story discussing this trend and talks about the increase in food offerings by grocery stores and how the down economy is pushing this trend forward. Do you eat out at the grocery store? What's your favorite thing to pick up?

Married, But Not Sleeping Together

CNN posted an article on couples who are married, but don't sleep together. Why would a married couple not sleep together? Try this one. "We were lying in bed spooning when he had an elbow spasm and punched me in the jaw," says Barbara, a 55-year-old graphic designer from Lansing, Michigan, who asked that her last name not be used. A 2001 survey by the National Sleep Foundation found that 12 percent of married Americans slept alone; in 2005 that number had jumped to 23 percent. In March, the Sleep Council of England found that 1 in 4 people regularly retreats to a spare room or sofa to get a good night's sleep. Other reasons include snoring and leg jerking or a heavy twitcher.

Some experts aren't so sure sleeping separately is a good idea. "My feeling is that sleeping together is a very, very important part of being integrated with each other," says clinical psychologist and marriage counselor William F. Harley Jr. Others think this is the new way of marriage, citing that when they're better rested, they are a better spouse and parent.

What do you think? Is sleeping in separate beds or rooms bad for marriage? Do you do this?

Do You Pay Your Kids for Good Grades?

USA Today interviewed several CEOs asking them their thoughts on giving their kids cash for grades and whether or not they thought it was a good idea. In the end, the majority of CEOs interviewed did think it was a good idea while half actually did pay their kids for good grades. In contrast, only 15% of 450 high school principals surveyed thought paying for grades was a good idea. CEOs see pay for performance as more art than science, much like keeping employees motivated to do good work.

What are your thoughts? Do you pay your kids for grades? Are there any teachers out there? What are your thoughts on this subject?

Get Your Wife Into Gaming

Ok, so this article from MSNBC (click here) is on getting your girlfriend into gaming, but the same rules apply after you're hitched. The first rule: Don't be a jerk, meaning don't throw your controller, drop f-bombs, and ignore your spouse when they're right there next to you because you're engrossed in the game. Another tip is to pick the right game. Don't try and force them to like Halo if they're not into it. Remember, gaming is suppose to be fun. Some recommended games mentions are Harry Potter, Rock Band, and Elite Beat Agents. Finally, try playing co-op. Many games have a cooperative mode, where you and a buddy can tackle missions as a duo. Don't forget to compliment when your spouse on their video game successes either.

Do you and your spouse have a favorite game?

Help Dr. Scott: Take Happy Families Survey

Our own Dr. Scott Haltzman needs your help. He's conducting research for his new book, "The Secrets of Happy Families" and he needs you to take a quick five-minute survey. This is Dr. Haltzman's third book, following "The Secrets of Happily Married Men" and "The Secrets of Happily Married Women." When you take the survey, you'll be entered to win autographed copies of his books, which we highly recommend reading. To take the survey, click here and then click on the gold button in the center of the website that says "Win Free Books." To read Dr. Haltzman's articles on Hitched, click here.

Know What Gets Better With Age?

Marriage. So says, author Maggie Scarf in her new book "September Songs: The Good News About Marriage in the Later Years." Scarf has spent more than 30 years studying relationships and has been married herself for 55 years. USA Today interviewed Scarf and you can read the interview here. Here's what Scarf responded to the question of how do couples get better with age? "As you age, it's no secret that you lose memory, vision, hearing, but there is one domain in which you probably get a lot better, and that is emotional control and emotional processing. These emotional changes promote a motivation to get the toxic people out of your life."

Marriage and Prayer Survey

Paul Giblin at Loyola University Chicago is looking for participants for a study that explores how, when, where, and why married people pray. The study is conducted online and is held in confidential. The study asks: Besides praying in church and at meals, do you ever pray together or is it more usually alone? Do you have similar or different ways of praying? How do marriage and family life influence your prayer life? Has your prayer changed over the course of marriage and family life? To participate, please contact Dr. Giblin at 800-424-1238 or pgibli@luc.edu.

Could a DVR Save Your Marriage?

Tech company NDS commissioned a study on DVRs and a surprising result was found. A whopping 79% of American couples surveyed said their DVR improved their relationship. The main reason for the improvement according to the study is that each individual in the relationship can enjoy their own programs and share their favorites with one another. Furthermore, 81% of Americans said having a DVR helped squash arguments over what to watch. Click here to read the complete report. Do you have a DVR in your home? Do you think it's improved your relationship? Talk about it on the forum.

New Book: American Wife

A new book by Curtis Sittenfeld titled, "American Wife" is loosely inspired by the life of Laura Bush. The story is told in first person about as an up-close portrait of the interior life of a very complicated woman, but most is fiction. The story focuses on Alice Blackwell, the wife of Charlie Blackwell, a wealthy man who becomes president. So how does Alice's life mirror that of Laura's? A car accident in which a youthful Alice kills a teenage boy, her career as a librarian, her husband's rise from co-owner of a baseball team to governor and then president. And just as we help couples of different political views get together in our latest story "Philadelphia, Politics and Common Ground," Alice is a Democrat when she meets Charlie who is a Republican. Click here to read the full review.

New Monogamy Gene Found?

A new study on genes linked a hormone that's found in mammals, to mate stability in prairie voles. The research went on to show that Swedish men with variations in DNA next to the gene responsible are generally more likely to have marital problems -- and less likely to be married in the first place -- than those without the variations. Wired goes on to say:

According to the researchers, the results suggest that the "influence of AVP on pair-bonding in voles may be of relevance also for humans," although the "relatively small effect size ... clearly does not mean that this polymorphism may serve as a predictor of human pair-bonding on the individual level."

Although it's too early to tell, many have already started dubbing this the "divorce gene". We'll error on the side of caution and wait until the research says so. Here's a link to the complete article.

Put Marriage Before Kids

This article from The Christian Science Monitor says the secret to a happy marriage is to put your marriage before your kids. By making your kids the center of your universe, parents become anxious and exhausted and it's not just bad for marriage, but in the end it's bad for the kids too. Here are some tips from the article:

There are three keys to a successful marriage and family:

1) Recognize that we've already chosen the perfect spouse. No, we would NOT choose better next time;

2) Recognize how often our fight-or-flight instinct overrides our passion in marriage. To create a happy marriage, we need to go from the fantasy, "It's his/her fault that I'm unhappy" to the truth, "I wouldn't do any better in my next marriage, so I might as well give 100 percent to this one;" and

3) Recognize that if we build a great marriage, we create a great role model for our kids, and they learn self-reliance and cooperation in the process.

Do you find that your kids come before your relationship?