Renew Vows to Save Marriage

Renewing your vows is a tradition of reminder and putting the spotlight back on your commitment to each other. For some couples that may have lost their ways, renewing your vows may help refocus your marriage and get it back on track. Dawn O. Braithwaite, professor of communication studies at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, has researched couples who opt to renew their vows. She says "I would not advise anyone to do this out of desperation and say, 'I'm going to save my marriage. This is like the icing on the cake." But even if it is a last resort, Susan Heitler, a Denver-based clinical psychologist and author of "The Power of Two" says a renewal of vows can be a fresh start for those who are still very much in love, but who cannot seem to get the hang of married life. This article from ABC News highlights celebrities who are doing it and suggests that if a few of them find success for their rocky marriages, then it could become a more popular trend. Have you ever renewed your vows?

Reasons to Have Sex

If you're not feeling motivated to have sex, AOL has put together a list of 34 reasons to have sex. For example, according to a study at Queens University in Belfast, men who have sex three or more times a week can cut their risk of heart attack in half and will also reduce risks of stroke. Another reason to have sex according to the article is that 30 minutes of sex will burn roughly 200 calories. With the winter flu just around the corner, you'd also like to know that sex twice a week will boost your immune system by 30 percent. To read the complete list, click here.

Young Workers Aren't Good With Savings

Fidelity Investments released a survey that says half of Gen X and Gen Y workers said saving for retirement is an obligation or a goal, but 51 percent said other financial priorities prevent them from setting aside money. The survey also suggests that these two groups of workers will switch jobs around seven times and many of them cash out their 401(k)s when the change jobs. The survey says a whopping 56 percent cashed out their work place savings plans and 41 percent said they didn’t seek financial advice when changing jobs. Are you comfortable with the way your financial retirement is heading? Any questions you want our experts to answer?

Marriage, World of Warcraft Don't Always Mix

Men love video games. Women love video games too, but that's another post. Men who spend too much time playing World of Warcraft (WoW) could find themselves creating an unhealthy relationship environment. This self-professed writer and WoW addict uses guidelines such as setting time limits on his play (click here). This can be applied to all video games--Madden '09 just came out! For other tips, you could set aside a certain day you play, throw a game party, play when the other is out or asleep, or invite them to play with you. Out of curiosity, have you and your spouse argued over too much video game play? This reminds me of that movie with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn, The Break-up. Remember the scene where she's trying to get him to help get ready for a party and he's trying to squeeze in some Grand Theft Auto time? Like this one and in most other cases, video games aren't the problem just a symptom. Remember, video games are supposed to be fun, telling your friends and family you got divorced because you play them is not. Play responsibly.

Unconsummated Marriages Not Uncommon?

Nobody knows for certain how many married couples haven't consummated their marriage, but Dr. Domeena Renshaw, a psychiatry professor at Loyola University Health System outside of Chicago, says he has treated 202 unconsummated unions. The guess is that 1 percent of marriages remain unconsummated. Dr. Renshaw says she has treated one couple who had been married 23 years without the bedroom magic. This article from MSNBC offers many reasons why a couple would not have intercourse. A couple reasons include erectile disfunction; vulvodynia, an often unbearable pain when the genitals are touched; or social identity within cultures that comes with virginity.

Fewer Women Having Kids

New U.S. Census data reports that 23 percent of women ages 40 to 44 have no children, double the level of 30 years ago. Women who are having children are birthing an average of 1.9 children, compared with the mean average of 3.1 children in 1976. The data shows that women with graduate degrees have fewer children: 27 percent of 40 to 44-year old women with graduate or professional degrees are childless, compared with 18 percent of women who did not continue their education beyond high school. The data further shows that of all the women who had children in 2006, nearly 60 percent worked. These numbers have been leaning this way for a long time. What's your personal experience? Click here to read the complete article from the NY Times.

Online Marriage Survey

Dr. John Wu, a professor of psychology at Point Loma Nazarene University needs your help. He's looking for volunteers to take a 10-15 minute online survey on marriage satisfaction. The survey is fully confidential, does not ask for your name, and you'll take it independent from your spouse. Once you've completed the survey, you can enjoy some free marriage videos and other resources. To take the survey, go to: www.pointloma.edu/marriagesurvey. Also, if you have married friends, you can pass the link on to them as well or direct them to this blog.

Eating Nuts Presents Danger for Pregnant Women

Dutch researchers say that pregnant women who eat nuts or nut products like peanut butter daily raise the risk their children will develop asthma by 50 percent. According to the findings, moderate amounts don't seem to have any effect. This Reuters article says "scientists do not exactly know why some children develop asthma, although some believe that allergies can trigger the disease that causes a narrowing of the bronchial tubes." While seafood is another food that contains allergens, the Dutch researchers only found a link between peanuts and asthma. The study questioned 4,000 pregnant women on their dietary habits. Their conclusion was that moderate consumption doesn't seem to pose an issue.

The Value of Your Life has Dropped Nearly $1 Million

The Environmental Protection Agency dropped the "value of a statistical life" to $6.9 million -- a drop of $900,000 from five years ago. So why would the U.S. government devalue the life of Americans? The AP summates that "government agencies put a value on human life and then weigh the costs versus the lifesaving benefits of a proposed rule. The less a life is worth to the government, the less the need for a regulation, such as tighter restrictions on pollution." The article also goes on to say that "the value based on what people are willing to pay to avoid certain risks, and on how much extra employers pay their workers to take on additional risks. Most of the data is drawn from payroll statistics; some comes from opinion surveys.

If you had to put a price tag on your life and where you are today compared to five years ago, would you be worth more?

Married Couples Still Healthiest

It's long been reported that married people are healthier than non-marrieds, but a new report says that the gap is closing. In the September issue of the Journal of Health and Social Behavior it "found that the self-reported health status of never-married adults increased significantly over time. At the same time, the self-reported health status of married women also increased, so the gap between married and never-married women's health stayed about the same. However, never-married men narrowed the health gap between themselves and married men." So why are married people healthier? There are two theories. One is that being married gives you more access to social support and economic resources. The other is that being divorced or widowed hurts health, according to this article from the Washington Post. For more information about the health effects of marriage, visit the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

Home Sale Can Put Strain on Marriage

A Wall Street Journal editor, Neal Templin discusses the process of selling his home and how it put a strain on his marriage. They argued about how much to spend fixing up the house and how quickly they should drop the price when their home wouldn't sell. Neal's wife Clarissa wanted to hold out for a higher price while Neal wanted to get the price down as quickly as possible and get the house sold immediately. In addition, Clarissa wanted to do much more remodeling and prepping than Neal did. They compromised and wound up spending $2,000 on granite countertops and a new sink in the kitchen, plus paint for the bathrooms. Then more money was spent: on plants, a mantle, light fixtures and more. Eventually they sold the house, but not after a lot of compromising and negotiating with each other.

Have you and your spouse argued over your housing situation recently? What did you argue about and was their a resolution?

Olympian Loses Wedding Ring During Competition

Kerri Walsh, part of the defending Olympic beach volleyball champion duo with Misty May lost her wedding ring on Sunday while competing against Japan. According to the AP, Walsh went up for a block at some point during the match and the ring flew off her hand. Fortunately, some broadcasters noticed what had happened, and were able to go back to the tape to show officials where they thought the ring might be. Unfortunately, there was 17,000 tons of sand that gets raked between matches. After the day's matches had finished, however, volunteers combed the area with metal detectors and eventually found the missing band. In case you were wondering, Walsh and May won their match.

Have you or your spouse lost your wedding ring? What were the circumstances? Talk about it here.

Train Like an Olympian

In case you haven't seen a newspaper, TV or been on the web recently, today is the start of the Beijing Olympics. When you're watching those finely tuned athletes perform swifter, higher and stronger and realize that you'll never be able to do that, it doesn't mean that you can't train like an Olympian. Best Life magazine interviewed a few Olympic coaches to get training tips for us non-Olympians. Larry Nicholson, assistant coach for USA Boxing says to get quick nimble feet, place eight cones three feet apart in a line, and then do three sets of each of the following exercises: Weave through them at a sprint, weave through them while high stepping, jump over them with your feet together, and weave through them while facing sideways.

Bob Bowman, coach to Michael Phelps says the key to Phelps success is his long swim stroke. To get you own gold-medal stroke consciously extend your arms. Bowman says, "It will feel awkward at first, like you're exaggerating each stroke, but once you start hitting those longer strokes at your previous short-stroke speed, you'll be faster, stronger, and fitter."

To read the advice of all the coaches, click here.

The Secret to Successful Date Nights

Arthur Aron, a professor of social psychology at the State University of New York at Stony Brook has conducted many tests, brain scans and other real world experiments to come up with the solution to stale date nights. The secret, he says is to inject novelty into the relationship. For example try a new restaurant or something more unusual or thrilling that takes you out of your usual environment and experiences like an amusement park. Here's the reasoning according to the article in the NY Times:

The theory is based on brain science. New experiences activate the brain’s reward system, flooding it with dopamine and norepinephrine. These are the same brain circuits that are ignited in early romantic love, a time of exhilaration and obsessive thoughts about a new partner. (They are also the brain chemicals involved in drug addiction and obsessive-compulsive disorder.)

The results of Aron's study revealed those who had undertaken the “exciting” date nights showed a significantly greater increase in marital satisfaction than the “pleasant” date night group. (This is an older article from NY Times so you'll have to log in--which is free).

Do Self Breast Exams Work?

According to Cochrane Collaboration, there is no evidence that monthly self exams reduce breast cancer deaths. This article in U.S. News & World Report then asks the question: What should you do then? While checking yourself regularly may not help according to the new findings, experts say if you do feel something unusual, get it checked out. The report also is not suggesting that self exams are bad, just that it's not correcting the breast cancer problem. It's not surprising, however, that some doctors still feel that self breast exams are helpful. The bottom line according to the article is that if you are currently conduction your own regular exams, you don't need to stop, but know it might not be as effective as once thought. And if you're not a regular self-examiner, you don't have to feel guilty about it.

Couple Mark 70 Years of Marriage

British couple Arthur Lewis, 93, and Irene, 88 married on July 30, 1938 and just celebrated their 70th wedding anniversary. For their 60th and 65th anniversaries they received messages from the Queen. No royal congratulations this time, but they are satisfied with two prior recognitions. So what's the secret to their success? Mr Lewis said they had always managed to settle their disagreements. "We've had differences of opinion over quite a lot of things," he said. "But we never went to bed on an argument. We didn't make a big issue out of things, we've been partners in everything." What's the secret to your marriage success?

I Found Out...After We Married

The Kevin and Bean morning radio show on KROQ in Southern California ran segment on Thursday that got our ears perked. They had listeners call in and tell stories of things they found out from their spouse after they married. One caller found out that their spouse smoked pot, and had been doing so even before they married. One husband called in to say that his wife revealed that she has OCD and when he goes to sleep at night, flips the lights switches in the house to satisfy her OCD urge. Another caller found out that their spouse owed the government roughly $40,000 in back taxes!

Did your husband or wife reveal a surprise to you after you got married? Let us know by commenting on our Married Life network. You can hear the Kevin and Bean segment by clicking here and going just shy of halfway into the middle of the playback.