The Five Year Itch

This website (TopNews.in) says that scientists in the U.S., Russia and Scandinavia have determined that the honeymoon period in relationships lasts less than five years. They say that if a married couple makes it to their fifth wedding anniversary then they're much more likely to make it over the long haul. Though this article doesn't offer references, it does give reasoning to this timeframe. They say it's because couples are typically going through life changes in the first five years of marriage, such as finishing education, bearing children or establishing a career. It also makes sense, then, that the article says couples who marry later also have a better survival rate.

Will Your Marriage Last?

We've quoted this statistic before (click here), but it's worth repeating. Dr. John Gottman, University of Washington emeritus psychology professor says that 69 percent of couples are not compatible. That's astounding. Perhaps a credit to the institution of marriage is that divorce rates aren't that high, which means there are many, many couples out there who are making it work.

With that said, Dr. Gottman has developed a calculus equation that is able to tell within a 94 percent accuracy if a relationship will survive. Again, this isn't a new study, but it's worth putting out there. Furthermore, the equation will also calculate when the relationship will fail if it's heading that way. Dr. Gottman monitored 700 couples for 14 years and was able to run his calculation after watching only a 15-minute video tape of the couple's interactions. What was important was not what was said, but how it was said. This article (click here) breaks down how the study is scored goes into greater detail.

Wanna i-SOBOT?

It could be the hottest toy this holiday season, or it could fail miserably. One thing is for sure - the i-SOBOT looks pretty cool. The 6.5-inch, bipedal mechanical creature has attracted the eyes of many internet websites, blogs and popular gadget sites like Gizmodo and Engadget. The Robot even has a Myspace page with more than 160 friends. If Junior or - I'm guessing - the the men of the house want one, it's going to set you back around $300. The i-SOBOT can perform 200 actions, with some you can view here. Tomy Corp. sells the robot at amazon.com, e-toys and in Sharper Image stores. However, we're still not guaranteeing you will be the cool one on the block, though you will own 6.5-inches of expensive plastic.

What's Your Halloween Candy Personality?

We've probably gone a little overboard with all this Halloween coverage. But since we've already gone overboard, one more story can't hurt, right? The Washington Post has put together a personality sheet based on the candy you purchase. Here's a breakdown of some candy personality descriptions.

3 Musketeers: Does well in groups but is somewhat pompous. Prone to fancy costumes and arcane weapons. Wears hats in public that are ill-advised.

Reese's Peanut Butter Cups: Generous souls. Those who understand the salty in life, as well as the sweet.

Twizzlers: Sickos. Truly demented. Plastic people living plastic lives.

Twix: Both brittle and supple in social situations; sort of trapped between personality types.

For the full rundown click here.

Marriage Makes You Fat

Obesity researcher, Penny Gordon-Larsen says that recently married men and women in their late teens and early 20s gain more weight on average over five years than their single counterparts in the same age group. A typical married man packs on 30 pounds during that period, compared to the 24 pounds by non-marrieds. Married women add 24 pounds, compared to the 15 pounds of their single counterparts. Nearly 8,000 married couples were surveyed. Experts in Canada's Times Colonist say that the reason for the added pounds is because of changed routines--bigger meals, less time to exercise, etc. It also says that we typically bond with others who have similar habits, so we you plump up, you can bet your spouse will too.

First Wives Club

California's "Governator" Arnold Schwarzenegger may be a big guy and make big movies, but it's his wife Maria Shriver who was behind a record-setting conference on women this past Tuesday in Long Beach, California. Fourteen thousand women, and a few men, gathered to discuss the environment, the economy, volunteerism, family and soul. New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman interviewed the likes of former Prime Minister Tony Blair and Nobel Prize winner Muhammad Yunus to name a few. Friedman remarked that his wife asked him to please not embarrass her. The highlight of the conference came when Shriver interviewed the wives of the presidential candidates (Bill Clinton could not make the conference). During the question and answer, Shriver asked the women if they think there husbands would put their lives on hold as they had. Both the Republican and Democratic wives in an uncommon state of agreement responded with no answer at all. Guess there's a first for everything.

Right Brain or Left Brain

Which way is she spinning? If you think she's spinning clockwise, your right brained, if you see her spinning counter clockwise, then you're left brained, according to the Herald Sun in Australia. This might be fun to do with your spouse and compare your results. Here's what left and right brain mean:

LEFT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
uses logic
detail oriented
facts rule
words and language
present and past
math and science
can comprehend
knowing
acknowledges
order/pattern perception
knows object name
reality based
forms strategies
practical
safe

RIGHT BRAIN FUNCTIONS
uses feeling
"big picture" oriented
imagination rules
symbols and images
present and future
philosophy & religion
can "get it" (i.e. meaning)
believes
appreciates
spatial perception
knows object function
fantasy based
presents possibilities
impetuous
risk taking

The Trials of Same Sport Couples

The outcome of a marriage for career oriented couples is somewhere in the middle; if you have the same goals and outlook, the marriage will flourish, but if one wants kids and the other doesn't, for instance, the marriage could take a turn for the worst. The same scenarios ring true for athletic couples who compete in the same sport. On November 3 in New York, some wives will be biting their nails as they watch their husbands run in the United States men's marathon trials for a spot on the US Olympic Team.
New York Times reporter Aimee Berg has written a wonderful story showing you the trials and tribulations of just a few of the couples who have competitive careers. Check it out here

Saving Marriage, A National Priority

Editor's Note: Being that hitched is based in Southern California and ash is literally falling around us, we want to acknowledge that this post is not intended to diminish the state of emergency that California is in. As such, here's a link to numerous resources, including Red Cross information by county.

Saying that, Roland S. Martin of CNN wrote a column the other day stating that this country has declared everything from drugs, violence, HIV/AIDS, and guns a national priority. He wonders why marriage has not made that list. He was struck with this thought after watching "Why Did I Get Married?" Here's a little bit from his column:

I strongly believe that for too many of us, we've accepted the notion that marriage will be perfect; that we won't endure trials and tribulations. But that isn't true. In fact, where is that ever true than in someone's fantasy life? What's amazing to me is that when faced with difficulty on the job, so many of us will buckle down and work harder to prove ourselves worthy to keep that job. But at home, we'd rather leave, even if that means putting our kids through a divorce.

His column gets you thinking. You can read it in full here.

Hilary Said Saving Marriage Was Right Choice

In a recent interview with Essence magazine, Hilary Clinton said her marriage was worth investing in, but also remarked it isn't a decision for everybody. The 2008 presidential candidate tells the magazine, "I know the truth of my life and of my marriage, my relationship and partnership, my deep abiding friendship with my husband. It's been enormously supportive to me through most of my life. Now obviously we've had challenges as everybody in the world knows. But I never doubted that it was a marriage worth investing in even in the midst of those challenges and I'm really happy that I made that decision." She went on to say, "I think it's so important for women to stand up for the right of women to make a decision that is best for them." A poll released today by the Los Angeles Times and Bloomberg confirms that 30 percent of voters agree that Clinton did the right thing in remaining in her marriage to Bill Clinton "after finding out that he had an external affair." 16 percent said it was the wrong choice and 34% said it was neither right nor wrong.

We would love to know what you think about this. Please visit the hitchedmag.com message board here and join in on the discussion.

Put Some Broccoli On

It was something that you were always told to do. But few, if any, of us did. Researches have discovered that broccoli, among many other great things that vegetables do, can help reduce the redness and inflammation caused by sun damage and reduce the risk of skin cancer. In the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, lead study author Dr. Paul Talalay said the extract of the broccoli sprout boosts the protective systems of the cell to counteract the damage caused by ultraviolet radiation. The extract showed a 37 percent reduction in redness and inflammation caused by UV rays and lasted days after the broccoli extract was washed away. It's suffice to mention the broccoli extract does not act as a sunscreen, which unlike sunscreen, the extract does not absorb UV light, and Talalay stresses that people not replace their sunscreen. Perhaps the two will marry into the ultimate sun protection for you and your spouse's skin.

The Meaning of Flowers

Whether we're celebrating an anniversary or trying to make up, we give flowers to show that we care. But are the flowers you bring home really saying that you care? About.com breaks down an impressive list of flowers and what they mean. Here are just a few examples:

ALSTROMERIA: Wealth, prosperity, fortune.
ARBUTUS: Thee only do I love.
CARNATION: Fascination, distinction, divine love, woman, yes. Also the birthflower for January.
CHRYSANTHEMUM, WHITE: Truth, loyal love.
GLOXINA: Love at first sight.
HIBISCUS: Delicate beauty.
HYACINTH, RED OR PINK: Play.
JASMINE, SPANISH: Sensuality.
PRIMROSE: I can't live without you.
ROSE, BURGUNDY: Beauty within.
SALAL: Zest.
ZINNIA, WHITE: Goodness.

Read the full list here.

Just In Time For Halloween

Like the kids, nearly every adult likes to get dressed up during Halloween. From elaborate costumes to the just plain silly here is a run down of some costumes that may inspire you to get and your honey into the Halloween spirit from costumetribute.com

Wife Doesn't Want to Have Sex

I was cruising around the web the other day and found this article on Today. It's of a husband writing in expressing his frustration because his wife doesn't want to have sex and he's always the initiator. Dr. Gail Saltz was the expert columnist who responded and I think she did a very good job of taking the matter serious. She basically told him that his need for a sex life could drive a huge wedge between the two of them. After reading this, I thought, we can help! Our very own Dr. Trina Read wrote an article that offers tips for couples to initiate sex equally. It's titled aptly enough, "Initiating Sex." I know, we're clever. To read the Today article, click here. To read Dr. Read's article, click here.

Married To A Workaholic

It's one thing to be a hard worker, but it's another thing to be a workaholic. If you're married to a workaholic or if you are a workaholic, Forbes.com has some great tips to help you achieve balance in your marriage. There are two tips they offer that I think are particularly good. First, if your workaholic spouse has a structured work day, be sure to schedule in some relationship time and make them keep their appointment. Another tip they offer is to be sure and keep up with the regular date nights. We couldn't agree more--that's why we offer new date ideas every week in the "sex" section of the website! Check out this week's tips on picking the right Halloween party.

Are you married to a workaholic? Shoot us a note, we'd like to hear your story. Or go onto our message board and share your story with others.

Also, be sure to check out the "10 Ways To Survive A Workaholic Spouse" slideshow in the Forbes.com article.

Chocolate Cravings Explained

You might need a glass of milk to read this post. New research by Nestle (yes, that Nestle) say they may have figured out why some people crave chocolate. It's a gut thing. Or to be specific, it's caused by the type of bacteria inside your stomach. A group of 11 non-chocolate craving men and 11 chocolate loving men were tested. Perhaps the most interesting finding was that the men who ate chocolate had lower levels of LD (bad cholesterol). As if we needed another excuse to each chocolate. Read the full article here.

Husband to Donate Kidney to Wife

In Foster Kentucky, Candy Brown-Flora is about to get a little closer to her husband Steve. Flora suffers from a genetic condition called IgA nephropathy and currently requires dialysis six days a week. She was told that she needed a kidney transplant, but that it could take up to four or five years before she found a match. Her husband Steve, is not a match, but he's close. Flora saw a show on the Discovery channel (see TV is good for you), where they highlighted John Hopkins hospital in Baltimore. They discussed a program where Flora would be able to accept Steve's kidney. The couple, along wih friends and family are currently doing fundraisers to try and handle the medical bills. Read the full article here.

Why Poker Night and Golf Are Good For You

Guys hanging out with their boys is not just good times, but good for the heart--literally. According to a report from Healthiernews.com, a group of Sweedish researchers conducted a 15 year study with the results showing that guys with the greatest amount of social interaction — contact with many friends they saw on a regular basis — were less than half as likely to have heart disease, when all other factors being equal (smoking, weight, job-related stress, etc.). The research also showed that men who showed deep emotional attachment to their friends were only 58% as likely to develop heart disease as their loner counterparts.

So there you go guys, if you need an argument to go golf this weekend, you can tell your wife that you're doing it for your health.

Study Says Negativity In Marriage May Cause Heart Disease

It's time to get positive in your relationship. A new study, conducted by Roberto De Vogli, PhD and a researcher for the study, published in the Archives of Internal Medicine, says that couples and close friendships marked by negativity, such as conflict and adverse exchanges, boost the risk of heart disease. 9,011 British civil servants were asked to complete a questionnaire either between 1989 and 1990 or 1985 and 1988. They answered questions about up to four of their close personal relationships, but mostly about their primary relationship. De Vogli and other researchers suspect that people may mentally "replay" the negative interactions. "It can activate emotional responses, including depression or hostility," De Vogli says, in turn boosting heart disease risk. We at hitchedmag.com have strived to keep couples entertained, educated and inspired. Although studies like these aren't the most positive look at marriage, we feel it necessary to inform our readers, as well as offer tips and expert advice so they can make positive changes in their marriages and in life.

4 Foods to Fight Breast Cancer

Just about everywhere you turn right now, you're seeing pink. Why? It's breast cancer awareness month. Self magazine has an article on Yahoo! Health that discusses four foods that have been clinically shown to fight breast cancer, and a few that may increase your risk. For the foods that fight! Fish, cruciferous vegetables (Broccoli, cauliflower, and cabbage are good choices), berries, and whole grains (the article says to shoot for 25 grams per day). For the items to avoid, this article says overeating read meat, and two alcoholic drinks a day. Get all the details here.

Coming Clean With Your Partner

Ruth Hayden, author of "For Richer, Not Poorer: The Money Book for Couples" says that couples should always divulge their financial information to their partner, because the truth of the matter will always rear its head at the wrong time. In the book she reminds couples that, "You're more than money-there are so many more facets to a relationship. Plus, everyone has some kind of a downside. And money baggage is easier to deal with than others." For more click here

Spouses Are Copycats

Do you have poor health habits? Well, it's very likely that your spouse does too. The same goes if you decide to start dieting and exercising. You see, new research suggests that spouses are copycats. Researchers examined more than 6,000 individuals who participated in the Health and Retirement Study, which has followed the health of 20,000 Americans over the age of 50 since 1992. The researchers found that smokers were five times more likely to give up cigarettes if their spouse had quit, the same applied to drinking.

What do you think? Do you and your spouse have the same health habits? Read the full article here.

Tips Before Tying the Knot

At the University of Florida's Institute of Food and Agricultural Services, couples are taking steps to try and bolster healthy unions. The two day, six hour course titled "Before You Tie The Knot" looks to raise awareness of why some marriages last and some don't. The research-based program applies to all people of all backgrounds, which has been a problem in the past with other programs that are religion-based. What are your feelings on this? We'd like to know if you and your spouse have ever participated in something like this. Did it work? Do you wish you had participated? Discuss this and more on the message board here in our "Just Married" section.

The Truth, The Whole Truth

Remember that Census data that came out a few weeks back? Newspapers around the country quickly snatched it up and ran with it proclaiming the doom and gloom realities of marriage. Fortunately, Betsey Stevenson and Justin Wolfers, Op-Ed writers for the NY Times decided to dig a little deeper into the numbers and found some interesting misconceptions. In the article they clarify:

The Census Bureau reported that slightly more than half of all marriages occurring between 1975 and 1979 had not made it to their 25th anniversary. This breakup rate is not only alarmingly high, but also represents a rise of about 8 percent when compared with those marriages occurring in the preceding five-year period.

But here's the rub: The census data come from a survey conducted in mid-2004, and at that time, it had not yet been 25 years since the wedding day of around 1 in 10 of those whose marriages they surveyed. And if your wedding was in late 1979, it was simply impossible to have celebrated a 25th anniversary when asked about your marriage in mid-2004.

Man, how numbers can dance. The great news is that marriage, while declining in number according to the data is as strong as ever. Marriages lasting past 10 years in the 90s were at a greater rate than in the 80s, and subsequently were greater than in the 70s.

Honey, You're Killing Me

Couples will joke around how their spouse will talk them to death. Well, a new study that's written about in the NY Times (registration required) suggests that the way a couple argues could substantially damage their health. Two factors played a role in health. The first is bottling up feelings to avoid an argument. According to the study, this seemed to only affect women. The second major factor was the manner in which a couple argues. By watching video, researchers were able to tell who was more likely to have heart disease based on the style of arguing. For women, their health was affected based on how warm or hostile an argument was. For men, the tone didn't matter, what affected them was if the argument was a control issue.

What's really amazing about this study was that the style of argument was as much of a factor for heart disease as smoking or high cholesterol according to Timothy W. Smith, a psychology professor at the University of Utah, who presented the study last year to the American Psychosomatic Society. The lesson here: be nice to each other and don't bottle things up.

Young Marriage Worked For GOP Hopeful

It's not too often when a couple gets married in their teens that it will have any chance of lasting; attitudes, goals, ambitions and a slew of other individual feelings set in, ultimately breaking the couple apart as they enter adulthood. But not for GOP presidential hopeful Fred Thompson. He married his then pregnant girlfriend Sarah Lindsey at 17. It's was reported that Thompson was not a very serious student during his high school days, but when his girlfriend told him she was pregnant, Thompson stepped up to the plate, working three jobs and eventually becoming a lawyer representing Tennessee in the U.S. Senate. For more on this amazing story of young love, visit United Press International here

Message In a Bottle

On August 18 of this year, Melody Kloska and Matt Behrs were married on a Lake Michigan beach. To seal their vows, they wrote them, stuck them in a bottle and tossed the bottle into Lake Michigan. A few weeks later, the bottle was discovered on the other side of the lake sticking out of the sand. Lynnette Dubendorf of Mears, Mich. found the bottle while picking up litter off the beach. She opened it, read the vows and realized an amazing coincidence. Her and her husband Fred, were also married on a beach at Lake Michigan and on the exact same day 28 years prior. Lynnette first thought about ignoring the letter, afraid others would toss items into the late and pollute it, but then decided the newly married couple would like to know. Read the full article on Yahoo! here.

DVR Could Save Your Favorite Show

Nielsen Ratings, a system developed by Nielsen Media Research to determine the audience size and composition of television programming, has begun to include into their stats shows that have been recorded on a persons Digital Video Recorder (DVR) up to three days after the original airing of the show. A true blessing for some of you I'm sure considering you might like a show, but it doesn't quite fit into your spouses TV-watching schedule. Naturally, it will also give more popular shows a boost as well. Studio execs will now be able to take into account those viewers who playback their shows, giving them the power to order, keep or cut a show. click here